Learn to Be Present: Why Hobbies Are Essential for Mental Health
- Matthew Sexton
- Nov 19
- 4 min read
This post is for the people who want to get healthy.
It’s also for the people whose stability makes the rest of us want to get healthy.
And — let’s be honest — it’s also for the toxic people still stalking my life who can’t get any access. If you’re going to lurk, you might as well learn something.
Before we go deeper, set the vibe:Here’s a curated 90’s NYC hip-hop playlist I made to read this with — gritty, grounded, and perfect for focus:👉 Spotify Playlist:
Most people never learned how to be with themselves.
They learned how to stay busy, how to distract themselves, how to push through, how to stay entertained — but not how to sit still without falling into anxiety, worry, or chaos.
Self-care isn’t luxury.
It isn’t comfort.
It’s the ability to maintain awareness of your internal state without shutting down or running from it.
And that starts by learning how to be present.
Presence Is a Skill — Not a Personality Trait
Presence means knowing what’s happening inside you in real time.
For most people, this is harder than it sounds. When the noise stops, they call it “loneliness,” when really it’s just quiet — the unfamiliar experience of being in your own mind without distraction.
Modern life doesn’t help.
People move from work → screens → social media → noise → more screens.
Your nervous system never resets.
Your attention never stabilizes.
Research is consistent:
People are happier when they’re present.
Mind-wandering predicts lower happiness.
Awareness of internal state strengthens emotional stability.
Engagement reduces stress and increases positive emotion.
Presence isn’t about enlightenment.
It’s about staying with yourself without escaping.
The TV Problem: Sensory Input Without Calm
People think TV is relaxing.
It isn’t.
Television floods your senses — visuals, sound, movement, pace — until the brain shifts into passive mode. That’s zoning out. Not regulation.
And that’s exactly when thinking traps show up:
catastrophizing
replaying old conversations
intrusive thoughts
rumination
negative self-talk
Your senses are occupied, but your mind is unstructured — which is why passive “relaxing” makes people feel worse.
Presence is built through engagement, not sedation.
Hobbies Are a Healthy Form of Engagement
A hobby isn’t a luxury.
It’s a mental health tool.
A hobby gives your brain something structured, low-stakes, and solvable — which reduces rumination, stabilizes attention, and lowers stress.
Across multiple studies, hobbies consistently:
improve mood
reduce stress
increase life satisfaction
support emotional regulation
Not distraction.
Not numbing.
Engagement.
A good hobby:
Activates problem-solving circuits
Requires attention without emotional danger
Interrupts spiraling because you’re focused on the task
Everyone needs something in their life that isn’t work, isn’t survival, and isn’t shaped by someone else’s chaos.
How Remixing 112’s “Only You” Kept Me Out of My Head
One of my hobbies is making EDM — usually pretty mid, and that’s the whole point.
Recently, I remixed 112’s “Only You.”
I pulled out all of 112’s vocals and kept just Biggie and Mase.
It required timing, sequencing, structure, and attention — everything my brain needed to stop generating problems it couldn’t solve.
Instead of worrying about things outside my control, I was locked into rhythm, pattern recognition, and creative focus.
It kept me out of my head.
If you want to hear it:👉 SoundCloud — Only U (The Therapist Edit):https://soundcloud.com/user-994805744/only-u-the-therapist-edit
More updates are coming once the final version is uploaded.
For People Who Are Already Healthy
Healthy, regulated people need hobbies more than they think.
Because hobbies:
reduce overload
stabilize mood
build consistency
limit rumination
decrease anxiety
support self-regulation
give you control of your attention and access
Engagement protects your mind.
Routine grounds your nervous system.
A stable task reduces unnecessary emotional activation.
For Unhealthy or Chaotic People
Not judgment — reality:
People who struggle with impulsivity, emotional instability, or chaotic patterns benefit from hobbies differently:
They replace destructive coping
Reduce opportunities to act out
Build frustration tolerance
Provide structure where none exists
Strengthen attention regulation
Support therapeutic progress
Help people stay away from chaotic environments
A hobby is often the first stable behavior in a life that’s been unstable for years.
It’s not about being good.
It’s about creating enough stability to change.
Conclusion: Start Small, Stay Consistent, Keep It Simple
You don’t need equipment.
You don’t need a full setup.
You don’t need a new identity.
Start small.
Buy nothing.
Pick a low-commitment activity.
Experiment without pressure.
And if you don’t know where to start?
Use YouTube — not the doom-scroll side, the skill-building side.
There are entire channels dedicated to teaching literally any hobby:
guitar
photography
drawing
cooking
coding
beat-making
knitting
calisthenics
woodworking
gardening
You don’t need a mentor.
You don’t need a class.
You don’t even need courage.
Just one 10-minute tutorial.
When someone breaks a skill into simple steps, the pressure drops and the path becomes clear. YouTube is a free starter kit for almost any interest on earth.
If you go big too fast, expectations grow faster than progress — and burnout hits hard.
A hobby should feel manageable, not overwhelming.
Self-care starts with presence.
Presence starts with engagement.
Engagement starts with one small task you can do today.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to begin.
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